I have really been focused on the role of Ego, especially when faced with change. In my blog last week, I wrote about svadhyaya, or self-learning, and the realization that my ego is clinging on to all it can as I reestablish my professional roles. All that self-learning was emphasized when I listened to this Ego vs Soul text:
Ego vs Soul
Ego seeks to serve self,
Soul seeks to serve others.
Ego seeks outward recognition,
Soul seeks inner authenticity.
Ego sees life as a competition,
Soul sees lift as a gift.
Ego seeks to preserve itself,
Soul seeks to preserve others.
Ego looks outward, Soul looks inward.
Ego feels lack, Soul feels abundance.
Ego is mortal, Soul is eternal.
Ego is drawn to lust, Soul is drawn to love.
Ego seeks wisdom, Soul is wisdom.
Ego enjoys the prize,
Soul enjoys the journey.
Ego is cause to pain,
Soul is cause of healing.
Ego rejects God, Soul embraces God.
Ego seeks to be filled,
Soul is eternal wholeness.
Ego is Me, Soul is We.
I've never considered myself egotistical, but in reading this text, I realized how large a role Ego has played in my life, to keep me in my perceived comfort zone. As I work though this week, I've literally gone from 400+ emails a day to about 40, and my staff is 2/3 the size it was last week. It all screams "time to take advantage of new opportunities," but I feel a bit lost and unsettled inside. Ego tells us we must to put everything into place before we can feel settled, yet it also tells us we never have enough. Knowing that, I'm not sure if everything will ever be in place! And that's just what Ego loves - to keep us searching, wanting more, feeling less sufficient.
Our Soul feels the abundance we already possess, and knows there is peace and the journey is joyful.
I see how, in the face of change, I waffle between my Ego and my Soul. Don't get me wrong, I've lived through plenty of change - divorce of my parents, moving, the loss of my father when I was a kid, and the building of a new business from scratch, to name a few. Heck, I've even studied change management theories, as much of what we do in my business includes managing change for our clients as they transition to new management, and the cultural changes as my own company grows.
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Breathing through it all
For the first time in several years, I am asking why and what is best, instead of just putting my nose to the grind stone and making it happen for no reason at all. I am grateful for my practice, because through yoga I have learned to breathe through the discomfort and uneasiness, from one pose to the next. Taking it off my mat, I breathe through the uncertainty in my profession, from one step to the next. I'm recognizing I have so many blessings, and give myself the time to consider what feels best, as I navigate through uncharted waters to the ocean ahead. And even though Ego is in the boat with me, I'll try to keep it in the back seat :-)
How do you manage change? How has yoga helped?
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